The Legend of Little Dipper
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: One day Dipper Pines would save them all...or at least...he'll save them if they stop stealing his loincloth and laughing at him... Dipper x Harem. Inspired by Emma Iveli
1. Chapter 1

**The Legend of Little Dipper**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...…...

Let us travel now...away from our world...and to another...A world that underwent a nuclear war...and barely survived...a world where dinosaurs still roam the earth...a world where magic and science collide...a world where people mainly wear loincloths and fur bikini's...yeah, that got your attention...

But more importantly we go to a world where a great man would save the world, defeat a great evil, and become a hero of legend...Yes, in the future this boy would do great things...

...but for now...

 **CRASH!**

Dipper looked down in horror, his sister Mable had excitedly crashed into him...and accidentally ripped off his loincloth...exposing his privates to the whole schoolyard...he burned bright red as the laughter began...

...He's just a laughing stock...

"I can see 'little' Dipper!" Mocked a classmate. "'Little' is actually being generous!" Teased a girl.

...And thus began the Legend of Little Dipper...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?  
 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

The Legend of little Dipper ch. 2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

There are many theories about why the legendary 'little Dipper' forsook his home and began his epic journey...

Some say it was for the search of fabled treasure...

Others say it was for the love of a fair maiden...

Few even claim it was to contemplate the dichotomy of good and evil...

Yes, such academic discussions have led to more then one disgruntled 'expert' bashing his 'ignorant' colleagues head in...

But the reality...like most things...is far less glamorous...

...

"You want me to do what!?" Asked Mable confused. "Me and your father want you to help your brother get over his inadequacy with 'exposure therapy'- it's a hot new parenting technique that's really trending right now!"

"What your mother is saying...by humiliating him enough times, it'll toughen him up enough that it'll no longer affect him, and he can embrace 'himself'- warts and all -and reach his ultimate potential."

Mable frowned. "I...don't know- "Well get you that pig you've had your eye on." "HOTDOG, I'M IN!"

...

And so it began...

...later...

Dipper flusterd as he stepped closer to the cute girl. "Right, so I was wondering if you'd want to go-

 **YOINK!**

Shouted Mable as she ran by ripping off his loincloth. "Mable!" Screamed a mortified Dipper. "For your own good bro!" Shouted Mable over the laughter heaped at Dipper.

...much later...

Dipper walked up to another cute girl sitting by a stream. "Right, so I wondering-

 **SPLASH!**

 **YOINK!**

Shouts Mable as she jumps out of the stream like a fish and snatches his loincloth with her teeth-

 **MABLE!**

 **LOOK! LITTLE DIPPER IS BACK!**

Dipper stands their embarrassed from the mocking...while Mable frantically brushes her teeth. _What was I thinking!? That was disgusting!_

...Very much later...

Dipper cautiously looked back and forth. He gave a sigh of relief, no sign of Mable. Just an empty field where another cute girl was standing with her friends.

He walks up to them. "Hey, would it be alright if-

 **RIP!**

 **YOINK!**

"Oh, come on!" Shouts Dipper as Mable cast aside her grass camouflage and tore his loincloth off...

...

Dipper groans as he goes into the shower at home. _That's it, I'm done with everything until Mable and my parents are done-_ He rambles to himself as he takes off his loincloth and begins to shower. When he's done, he pulls the curtains aside-

 **WELL, HELLO LITTLE DIPPER!**

Shouts fifty cute girls!

Fortunately, the water from the shower at least covered up Dippers tears...not that that would've helped at this point...

...

Dipper looked around from behind a wall. _Not safe in school, not safe at home...where dose that leave me?_ He thinks to himself panicked It's then he sees the cheerleaders doing their routine.

Needless to say, seeing super hot girls wearing nothing but leopard skin bikinis...started to make his loincloth feel tight-

 **YOINK!**

And then it didn't-

 **EWW! PERV!**

 **LIKE WHAT YOU SEE 'LITTLE' BOY!?**

 **WOW, THAT IS JUST SAD...**

 **YEESH, JUST HAVE SOMEONE CUT IT OFF AND PUT IT OUT OF IT'S MISERY ALREADY!**

 **IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A DICK? I'VE SEEN MOSQUITO BITES BIGGER THEN THAT!**

The cheerleaders continued to mock Dipper...up until a cheerfully oblivious Mable walked up to him... "Hey, Bro-Bro! I was thinking of getting ice-cream! Want to-

 **SMACK!**

Mable looked up from the ground in disbelief as an enraged Dipper glared at the black eye he'd just given her.

"I hate you Mable." He didn't yell, he didn't say anything else...he just turned around...and walked away from his life and family...forever...and never looked back...

...…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
